Taking a Solid Look at Family Caregiver Stress and Health
Do you have a loved one who’s getting up there in years and needs extra help completing daily tasks? If you’re in this situation you know how challenging it is to be a family caregiver.
Here at Koru Health, we've seen so many loving family members giving exceptional care to their loved ones. We're constantly inspired by these strong caregivers.
But like any task that requires strength – caregiving can wear you down.
What is a family caregiver?
Any person who assists a relative, friend, or neighbor with at-home care is a family caregiver. Care is usually required due to an underlying disability. Caregivers are oftentimes unpaid and assist with the activities of daily living (ADL’s) – which they are not formally trained in.
As our American population continues to age, a large percentage of family caregivers are responsible for caring for a senior parent or grandparent.
Most often, the caregiver is responsible for managing the senior’s entire daily life.
This can include daily activities such as:
● bathing
● taking medication
● eating
● arranging doctor’s appointments
● managing health and financial decisions
Caregiving is the ultimate act of compassion and can be very rewarding. Being close by to help a senior adult that you care about can leave you feeling fulfilled, proud, and content. It can create a new sense of strength in your relationship with that person.
But those good feelings can quickly turn to bitterness and resentment if you don’t prioritize your own needs as well.
Let’s explore what exactly family caregiver stress is and how to cope with it.
What is family caregiver stress?
Family caregiver stress is the emotional and physical strain of caregiving.1 There aren’t many long breaks because caregivers are usually “on-call” 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Many family caregivers experience stress.
“What if mom falls again?”, “Dad needs to be at the doctor’s office at 4:00, but Billy’s game starts at 4:30. I don’t think I can do both.”
All this worrying can lead to your own health problems.
If you’re caring for a loved one and juggling a job you’re not alone. In fact, in addition to caregiving, nearly 60 percent of caregivers also work outside the home.2
This usually leaves little or no extra time for other family members and friends – let alone time for you to do anything you enjoy.
What are some signs of family caregiver stress?
Do you find yourself pouring an extra glass of rosé after dinner? Or maybe you're fighting off consistent headaches or persistent feelings of sadness?
These could be signs that you're experiencing caregiver stress.
Caregiver stress happens when you’re so busy being a caregiver that you forget to take care of your own health and well-being. Family caregiver stress is very common.
Even the most resilient people can feel the strain from being a family caregiver.
Stress can take different forms depending on the person, but here are some key symptoms that can occur:
● Gaining or losing too much weight
● Feeling overwhelmed
● Sleeping too much or not enough
● Feeling alone or isolated
● Becoming easily frustrated or irritable
● Having frequent physical symptoms such as headaches
● Losing interest in activities previously enjoyed
● Feeling sad or constantly worried
● Abusing alcohol or drugs
● Mismanaging medicines
It’s important to watch out for any of these symptoms. Small amounts of stress can be okay because it helps you cope with the current changes or challenges you’re facing. So, normal stress is healthy – it signals you to take action.
But long-term stress of any kind can increase your chances of serious health problems.
When it comes to family caregiving, if the stress continues over an extended period of time, caregiver burnout can happen3. This is a state of total physical, mental, and emotional exhaustion – and can strain a family even further.
What are some ways to cope with caregiver stress?
Since no one is immune to feeling the stress of caregiving, let’s look at some ways for family caregivers to cope with that stress.
Ask for help and accept it.
Most people don’t like asking for help, no matter what the situation. But when it comes to caregiving, stress can come on quickly with no breaks. Try asking a trusted relative or friend to help with one task per week.
One way to make it easier to ask for help is by giving your support system choices and letting them pick how to help.
For example, you could ask a sibling, “Would you be able to do some laundry for mom on Saturday? Or maybe you could pick up dinner on Friday night?”
Remember, it’s ok to ask for help.
Join a support group.
Check for family caregiver support groups in your community. There’s no one who understands your story more than people who are going through the exact same thing.
You can share stories, ask questions, seek advice and maybe even form some new friendships along the way.
Receiving support and understanding from others is sometimes the best therapy.
Banish the negative thoughts.
Feelings of guilt, shame, and worry can leave your mental health in a dark, low place.
You can’t control your situation. You didn’t cause it and you can’t fix it.
But you can recognize when you are having negative thoughts. Be sure to address these emotions.
Remember, it is always okay to take breaks and you should never feel guilty for doing so.
Get organized.
Creating a daily routine helps both you as a family caregiver and the person you are caring for. Unexpected things can always come up – but staying on a daily schedule will help minimize stress by knowing what’s coming next.
Buy a planner where you can keep a daily schedule and create to-do lists all in one place. There are many planners that have positive quotes for each day of the year.
A little dose of daily positivity goes a long way!
Take time for yourself and your health.
You can’t give your loved one the care they need if you have negative reserves of energy yourself. Recognize when you need breaks and take them.
Be sure to go for regular check-ups with your doctor to take care of your physical and mental health. You need to take care of yourself first before you can care for others.
Remember – you can’t pour from an empty cup.
We’re here for you and your loved one.
If the person you’re caring for has a progressive disease – such as Parkinson’s or Alzheimer’s – it’s important to recognize that the time may come when they need around-the-clock care.
An assisted living or memory care community would be the appropriate next step.
Koru Health offers communities in Oconomowoc and Racine, Wisconsin and Belle Plaine and Lakeville, Minnesota that support a wide range of senior lifestyles.
For more information, please contact us HERE anytime with questions, comments, and inquiries.
References:
1 https://www.womenshealth.gov/a-z-topics/caregiver-stress#references
3 https://my.clevelandclinic.org/health/diseases/9225-caregiver-burnout